Greeings, bonjour, what’s happeing?
Welcome to Lager Time.
Four more poems this week. A bit of commentry this week on this and that - cafes, the news etc
As ever, poems are below for those on the Substack. cree.substack.com for those who aren’t.
Not haa lot of time to work on More 64s of Boredom this but it’s coming
Don’t forget, Friday 27th March - Poetry & Poppaums -at Karemel, Wood Green, London, me doing some poems alongside Murray Lachlan Young, Skye Lilly and hosted by Paul Lyalls
TICKETS - £10 - https://www.musicglue.com/karamel/events/2026-03-27-poetry-and-poppadums-with-murray-lachlan-young-karamel
Keep it lager than life
Peas and taters
Paul
HOT KETTLE SHOP
I’m a unstable lid on a slow
boiling kettle, one of those
cheap £5 ones that take
way too long to
heat, like the
service in
this place
hot water
leaking out
the sides
These coffee shops have
seeped out the iron dome of
zones 1 to 2 and further out
into London’s outer-suburbs, where
the working classes
still dominate.
Just about
They must know their
days are numbered
when the posh
shops roll into
town, with all
their pastries
and leaflets for
Pilates and gong
Baths.
The resident
middle classes now
have space to talk
and share, and
plan and
speculate.
My wife likes these
places.
She sends me in for
americano and Turkish
eggs.
Not gonna lie
I’ve indulged in their
sausage rolls, four
times the price of
Greggs, don’t tell
the boys, though
But Its chaos in
here. There’s not
enough space between
the counter and the bit
where you wait if you’re
getting take-away.
Staff get confused
as to who’s next and
orders take ages or
get forgotten.
Meanwhile HGV sised
Buggies block the entrances
with little dogs tied
alongside.
Not gonna lie I’ve
Bought my dogs in
Here too
Over the noise I hear
the lady shout out
my order
Finally
The kettle simmers
grab the food, slip
out and put my
hood back up
enjoy that relief of
no longer having
to wait
This is
how it is
now
BUILDING-RUNNER
There was guy who
ran a building for a
time
When he talked, he talked
Loudly, figuratively and
literally
about Identity
His id and
Those like
Him
No Different from
His contemporaries
Fizzing through the
2010s Like a
heated cell under a
Microscope
All charged with
Other people’s
Ideas, tropes
Like tazers
Set to
stun
Like many of his ilk
His views seemed shallow
And rarely went
Beyond the lens
Of a camera
phone
He made enough
Noise, that
Eventually he
was given
A building to
Run
The bluster was now
Put to the
test
Budgets got
Spaffed on
Vanity projects
Those Said to be
Oppressed were
ignored
The emperor wore The
best clothes yet
Everyone agreed
He was
poor
He left
out the back
Door, under allegations
Of misconduct
The gatekeepers
Blushed red
Very little
Was said
He ran the building
They spectated
We played
along
but beyond the
Paint Job
Nothing
changed
Good guy bad guy
Saw a clip online
Interviewer vs activist
One subject
Two viewpoints
One right one left
One good one bad
One bad one good
Depending where you park
Your arse
Both obnoxious
Both arrogant
All mouth
No ears
No noise of doubts
Points to agree or
Willingness to
Concede
Both wrong
both right
right wrong
wrong right
The ight and ong and
Is there anything in between?
God help us all
This is the news
And it’s bloody
Entertaining
The modern male writer
The modern, male writer
sighs, as he reviews the
analytics of his latest
piece.
Of the 5 likes he received
3 of the likees, contained
images of very attractive
women, in lingerie, with
links to a
website
One day, he said to himself
one of the these attractive
women in lingerie,
will be a real women who
also happens to share my
love of literature, starting
with my very
own
